The First Sip

It was love at first sip

the first taste

the exhilaration

the taste of liberation

and the taste of relief

intertwined with pain

a way to breathe

but too young to know

the chokehold grip

the substance could hold

for this became a constant

for the years to come

a numbing method

relief entangled with guilt

like a horse with blinders

it turned into the product of a full night’s sleep

it turned into failing relationships

it turned into failing myself

love at first sip

the way it made me love me

for now I am in control

love at first sip

how damaging it turned out to be